Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Apparently, I am naive.

I've been working on a post that summed up my absence over the summer months.  A humorous self-titled* post to break the ice and get back to blogging on a regular basis. It's still not finished, almost, but not quite.
And then yesterday I got a phone call regarding two of my very best friends here in Nashville.  Leaving out all details, basically my heart, pride, and trust have been crushed. So this little emotional word-salad gushed out yesterday while I waited in line to pick up my eldest from school.  Here it is in all its unedited glory.

"Words won't come. How can you organize a single coherent thought while betrayal churns, fresh and putrid, in your gut.
I can't judge the acts. I am no saint, to be sure. The lies will not abide.  To trust and defend were my downfall. I will not blindly do either again.
Guilt, I hope, has entered their minds. It will be a self-inflicted punishment. If they have no guilt, then nothing is left of their souls."

Weird, I know. But if felt good to get it out. And it was better than puking which is the other feeling I had.
Hopefully today is a better day and I get some real writing done.

*Self-Titled, as in "A Day in the Life of Me"


Zan Marie said...

Oh, Aven! It's times like this that really tries us and makes us grow up, unfortunately. It happens to us all. Hang in there, lady.

Deniz Bevan said...

Gosh Aven, hope things are better now. Belated *hugs*

Aven said...

Yes, things are better in that area. Thanks for the Hugs *s*