Sunday, March 7, 2010

Today's Edition of "My Soapbox"

The title eludes that I've had other editions of "My Soapbox." I haven't, but given the plethora of things that get me going, I think I'll make this a regular blog entry. Kind of like Peter Griffin's news bit "What Really Grinds My Gears." So for today's edition, I have two subjects; annoying news and annoying neighbors. Let's get right to it.

Sarah Palin is a Ritard
I consider myself to be an open minded person who's sensitive to the feelings of others. That being said, I also have a sense of humor. It's a dark one perhaps, but it exists. For those who haven't heard, Sarah Palin is angry with Family Guy. I won't waste precious blog space
with the story, but you can read this article from the New York Times which does a great job of summing it up. The short version is an episode had a minor character who has Down's Syndrome, and her mother was the former Governor of Alaska. I think Sarah Palin needs to take a Xanax and call it a night.
This is funny. If you don't think it's funny, you probably shouldn't be watching Family Guy. Did I take offense to this scene in "The Hangover" where they call Rainman a 'ritard/retard' just because my son has Autism? No, I didn't. I thought it was hilarious; one of the funniest parts in the movie. And, stirring up all this shit is just giving them more attention, and probably increasing their ratings. As someone who is a public figure, you know you're going to be made fun of. This is most likely the tamest thing Seth MacFarlane & Co. have come up with. So brace yourself, it will get worse; and I look forward to it. My verdict: hilarious, even more so since the actress doing the voice of the character has Down's and intentionally makes fun of Palin. Lovely :)

Age of Autism
No segue, just gonna jump right on the next item of news. I am a fan of The Onion. They make fun of things that are completely made up, and I like it. Now many in the Autism community are furious over this article where two parents blame their Autistic son for being unable to save their marriage. I don't hear the pit bull folks screaming discrimination from the mountain tops (they get a little jab here too). In my oh-so-humble opinion, this article is taking shots at people who have kids for the wrong reasons, not the fictional Autistic child. The only thing that bothered me in the slightest was naming the child Evan (presumably after Jenny McCarthy's son who has Autism). My verdict: not hilarious, but funny.

Yoda Cuts Grass
Some of you may have heard my tales of the grass cutting senior citizen who lives next door to me (AKA Yoda, AKA Father Time, AKA Mr. Gill). If not, he is at least 80 years old and he religiously mows his yard every Saturday, twelve months a year. The only exceptions are heavy rain/snow, below freezing temps, and possible medical emergencies. The last one is in question though. The man loves his yard.
This morning I took Bronwen and Ian outside to play while John ate his breakfast. This is the first day it's been warm enough. And I shit you not, three minutes into our outing, and Yoda is out in full force riding his new mower, cutting the grass.
I understand that old habits die hard. But COME ON! The grass is dead, brown, crunches under your feet. It hasn't grown a millimeter in at least four months! He doesn't just cut the grass either. He covers every square inch at least four times. I'm not exaggerating. He really does. One day he spent twenty minutes mowing the patch of grass right outside my bedroom window. Not even my earplugs can drown out the sound of a mower.
My verdict: NOT funny. Highly frustrating. He's either so senile he can't remember it doesn't need cutting OR his wife is so damn annoying he has to mow to get away from her.

Thanks for reading/listening. I feel better now.


Jamie & Claire Tour said...

Oh Aven, the first thing I thought was that he's getting some time away from his wife.....snicker. Think of it, it's probably 'safer' than going for a drive in the car at his age and much less stressful especially with the drivers on the roads these days. Why don't you get a few neighbors together to pay him to do their lawns (yours included), as long as he's not taking away someone's current gardening job. Maybe he'll tire out and take a week off from his own. Girl, you are toooooo funny!

Aven said...

He LOVES to mow. I don't think he'd let us pay for service. We pay for ours due to the very large hill that is our back yard. It's so steep that regular riding mowers are likely to tip over, and have.
And, he does drive...every single day. He still works, private consulting I think, but for what I don't know.