A little taste of the South

Page One—Robert McCammon (author) and native Alabamian

I had to leave this workshop a little early to do my agent pitch, so notes are minimal.  The class started with some open discussion of writing process, and a few of us surprised him by admitting that we didn’t start with page one/line one.  I’m a chunk writer so one day I might write from the middle of the story, the climax the next, and go back to the beginning another day.  

We all jotted down an opening line, whether from our current WIP or something we thought would make a good first line, and read them out loud.  

Here’s one I’d been tossing around:  “Standing in the middle of my bedroom, surrounded by a sea of discarded clothes, I panicked.”   Now, I have no idea if I’ll actually use that line, but I could.  All of a sudden it didn’t seem so daunting.  

He stressed that the first line on page one should make the reader wonder/question.  What is going on?  What will happen next?

-Try to stick to a writing routine

-It takes an enormous amount of dedication, so don’t let ANYONE tell you that you can’t do this.  You Can!

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It was such a pleasure to take one of Jo Bourne’s workshops. She is a writer of historical romances and a frequent poster on the Compuserve Writer’s forum.  I was a few minutes late because the door had no sign on it-my only complaint for the weekend.

Use the simpler word. Use a simple, discreet, exact word.

Read your work aloud.

Leave out backstory, do that somewhere else.

If it isn’t underfoot, we don’t see it. 

Avoid long sentences in description.  They’re too slow, and you’ll lose the reader.

POV character has a sentence length he/she prefers.  Stick to it.

First and last sentences have the most impact in a paragraph.

Build description from nouns and action from verbs.  Be specific! Oak not tree, Sergeant not soldier.

Don’t say the obvious:  fluffy kitten, warm fire.

Don’t overdress nouns.  One in five nouns are allowed adjectives.  Use adjectives for the Most Important Nouns, the ones significant to that scene.

Use ALL senses.

Description is symbolism and can tie in the themes.

Passive Voice is who does the action of the verb.  It is okay in description.  The chair was placed in the hall.  The reader isn’t thinking who put the chair there?  They want to see the drunk guy fall over it.  

Zoom in and Zoom out.

Use bright color when you can.

Scenery-have some movement to draw the reader through the description.  

Add description to give setting.  Not a laundry list, only 5 or 6 things in a room/place.  Make them interact with the objects. 

Description creates a 3 dimensional world.  Your POV  character is in a relationship with these things-gives the world solidity

Flavor of the description varies dependent on how close the object is to the character. how close/how far. Be realistic.  Touch/feel is near, sound sight is far.

1. touch zone-

2. conversational zone-small things/up close

3. far off zone-outside the window, down the street, across the room

PACING--

if you have a lot of action, there can be too much. break it up with description, then the next bit of action hits harder

Tacks your character into the physical world and gives dimension

Character description is the same, be realistic in relation to distance seen from.  

We are looking at the object as seen from the character.  there are associations with that thing/object personal to the POV char. 

Pick details that have a relationship to the char. involve them with the scenery. 

Be thrifty with description

Use the same scenery several times

Fill physical objects with emotion and meaning

Build mood with description

Focus--all things are filtered thru the POV character and what is important to them in that moment. Choose who's POV is better for each scene. 

What they see is in the parameter of the beam of a flashlight

The person sees what they know and what is important to them and is limited to that.

Straight dialog is faster than real life--throw in description, action if it needs to slow down.  

Use paragraph breaks, make use of white space so as not to drag down the reader. 

Thank You, Chuck Sambuchino!

Perfecting the In-Person Pitch

Chuck Sambuchino was an awesome presenter-funny, down to earth, and knowledgeable. I rewrote my pitch three times during this workshop.  [I purposefully took this mere hours before I pitched to Sorche Fairbank.  It must have helped.  Despite the fact that I’m on my second/third draft, she still wants to see the first 30-35 pages once I’m done.  I was thrilled, to say the least.]

Step One:  Introduce yourself 

Step Two:  Logline-One sentence about your work.  Written on the fly, I got—Adult contemporary fiction about a woman’s struggle to get her husband back from the grip of PTSD post Iraq war.  It needed rewording, but the main idea is there.  

Step Three:  The Pitch—3-10 sentences to introduce the main character and hook/conflict.  Don’t give away the ending.  

Step Four:  Any interesting points or information about yourself that are applicable to the story.  

For Non-Fiction pitches, start with a Bio-what makes you an expert?  Then tell what your Platform is-the ability to sell, specific audience, do you have podcasts/radio/blogs/articles?

-Avoid generalities (chaos ensues, her world was turned upside down, etc.), be specific, but there’s no need to tell every single detail of your story.

-Mentioning Themes- tells you nothing about the actual story

-The Pitch is not a synopsis

-Don’t pass on business cards or pages unless they ask for them.  They don’t have time for them at conferences and will likely get lost in the piles of stuff.

-Don’t try to pitch short stories, magazine articles, or poetry.

-Be careful comparing your work to other authors.  It comes across as cocky.  You might say your manuscript would appeal to fans of So-and-so because of such-and-such.

-RELAX.  Be confident but not cocky.

-Promise Of Premise:  Deliver what you pitched about.

-He mentioned the book SAVE THE CAT by Blake Snyder

You can follow Chuck's Blog here

Screwing up Robert Ray's perfectly helpful Master Class

Sorry, but this one is even more disjointed than the Pitchcraft Master Class Notes.  The class focused more on writing prompts and he made a lot of comparisons to Jane Eyre in plotting, antagonist/protagonists, character development, etc. My scanner is on the fritz so I couldn't get a copy of his handout put up here.  Honestly, without taking the class it wouldn't make much sense anyway.  I suggest getting his book The Weekend Novelist Rewrites the Novel.  We didn't even hit all of these things.  The following is a combination of his handout and my notes.
Now, on to my jibberish...

Welcome to Your Novel Rewrite--Robert J. Ray

*=Discussion points    #=prompts

3 Structure

I. Story—character, resource base=goal, motivation, wants, obstacles, myth, legend, pattern, back story, archetype.  Key:  who wants what?  Will they kill to get it?

II. Structure—acts, key scenes, scene-sequence, plot, subplot, subtext, texture, flashback, POV time-span.  Key:  how many flashbacks?

III. Style—noun, verb, modifier, syntax, image, metaphor, simile, analogy, symbol, dialogue, description, narration, exposition.  Key:  Operation Ratio.

Style is the surface-what you can see.  Structure is the semi-visible framework under the surface.  Story is a competition for the resource base and is buried under structure and style.

1. Warmup—Plot equals Protag’s Path

2. Grid of the Three Goods-Resources, Genes, Behavior (Grid= Plot and 2 subplots)  I remember nothing about this.  Sorry, guys. 

3. Antagonist (subplot 1)

4. Core stories—separate the plot from stacked subplots:  Rags to Riches, Grail Quest, King Replacement, Queen Replacement, Revenge Quest, Scapegoat Sacrafice, Coming of Age.

5. List of Firsts (glue the plot to the subplot and generate scenes in the structure (II))

First Encounter

First Words

First Date

First Kiss

First Fight

First Sex

First Regret

6. The First Encounter, a movable scene on the Arc (see prompt below)

7. Expanding Dialogue—dialogue mirrors the conflict between plot and subplot

8. Rewriting Dialogue—rules on the surface, subtext below

9. List of Scenes; Arc=Entry, Exit, Fate

10. Firsts and Lasts generate scenes (plot + one or more subplots/overlaps with number nine above)  Last Times are important Threshold Crossings if they bring you or your character to a change of states.  The first time initiates, the last time probes pain or memory or nostalgia.

11. Rewriting with the Scene Template.  Scene = Collision of Plot and Subplot

12. Verbs:  Style starts with choosing verbs.

Reader sees words. Writer sees layers.

*Write every single day without your internal editor.  Timed writing and prompts get your juices flowing.

#The first encounter (Lover A meets Lover B OR Protag. Meets Antag.)—  prompt:  Exiting the ________ she saw a man who reminded her….. (6)

*Write from the antagonist’s POV to get the subtexts, even if you don’t use it in the final manuscript.  (I heard this many times over the weekend:  your story is only as strong as your antagonist)

*POV-the key is sensory details.  Not visual so much, because with movies and television it has lost its impact.  

#I am rewriting a story about a character who wants….. (1)

#What is your setting?  What is the timeframe?  How many POVs are you using?  What is your antagonist’s name, age, sex, fate, point of entry/exit?

#My name is ______.  I am the antagonist.  I was born in the year _____ in a town called _____, and the first sound I remember was my mother cursing me because….. (3)

Timed exercise prompts (10)

#The first time she made love…..

#The first time she bled…..

#The first time her mother told her…..

# The last time she kissed

# The last time she saw her mother…

*Squeeze your character down to an archetype and a ritual; what is their core story?

#Setting: The time was_____. The room smelled of _____ (11)

#Character:  His/her hair looked like….. (11)

#Dialogue:  “What are you looking at?”  (11)

#Action: [pick an object]  She picked up the _____and…..

#Intruder:  A shadow sliced the light and a voice said….. (11)

#Climax or cut to next scene  (11)

*Don’t put the crap between dialogue.  Then you have three people: the author and two characters.  Five rules—short lines (1 or 2), echo words, object inserted, hook to past, link to future.  EXAMPLE (The English Patient)→

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Almasy sits alone, writing into his HERODOTUS, a map folded in front of him, from which he makes notes.  Katharine comes across with a clutch of her SKETCHES from the Cave wall.  Hands them to him.  They’re beautiful

ALMASY:  What’s this?

KATHARINE:  I thought you might paste them into your book.

ALMASY:  We took several photographs, there’s no need.

KATHARINE:  I’d like you to have them.

ALMASY (handing them back):  There’s really no need.  This is just a scrapbook.  I should feel obliged.  Thank you.

KATHARINE (exasperated):  And that would be unconscionable, I suppose, to feel any obligation?  Yes.  Of course it would.

She’s already turning, walking as far from him as the cramped shelter permits.  He continues with his maps.

ANALYSIS

-Object inserted: book, the Herodotus; sketches by the protag.

- Short lines:  What’s this?  We took several photographs.  I’d like you to have them.

-Echo Word:  you, book/scrapbook, feel. Obliged/obligation

-Future Hook:  should fee obliged, would be unconscionable

-Past link:  we took several photographs

-Intruder:  Katharine, the antagonist invades his book with her sketches

-Symbolism:  the book is where Almasy parks his heart

-Action:  a sandstorm buries the lovers, as they are digging out, Almasy invites Katharine to paste her sketches into his book.  As she pastes in her sketches, we see the softer side of Almasy, photos, some pressed flowers.  This guy isn’t so tough, after all.

-Subtext:  Adultery

-Structure:  the sexual triad of husband, wife, lover (mirrors Gatsby)

-Core stories:  Almasy’s an explorer on a Grail Quest; Katharine is a Death Crone out for King Replacement

-Lesson:  The right sacred object can super-charge your writing.

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#AND, SO, THEN, WHEN:  timed exercise.  Every time you want to stop and put a period, insert and so/and then/and when for one long run-on sentence.

*Syntax:  short, chaining, long, fragmented sentences.

#Give me that_____  (7)

*Do a character bio-then write backstory, write scenes, let the people talk.

EXAMPLE of 3 Goods-Resources/Genes/Behavior:  the key to mate selection→

Let’s imagine a party scene.  The guests are 30-something, educated, attractive, and mixture of singles, marrieds, and divorced persons.  We focus on two characters-single man, Claude and single woman, Eileen.  Claude is handsome, wears a Rolex and drives a Mercedes.  Eileen is attractive, no car-came to the party with a friend.  Claude is witty-tells a good story.  Eileen is reserved, formal-attracted to Claude. Her secret in this scene is her borrowed wardrobe-she loves good clothes.  Two days before the party she was laid off.  One week before, she broke off a relationship.  She is polite, well mannered, a lady.

What is going on in the subtext?  To find out we decode the details.

—Handsome is code for good genes.  Mercedes and Rolex are code for good resources.  Claude has two goods out of a possible three. No judgement yet on his behavior.  

—Attractive is code for Eileen’s good genes.  The term laid off is code for bad resources.  The borrowed wardrobe suggests that Eileen is pinching her pennies.  Another clue to bad resources.  Eileen is a lady, which suggests good behavior.

What if Claude has bad behavior?  Eileen has a decision to make: do the good looks and resources outweigh his bad behavior?  Is he trainable?  Will she still go home with him? Her decision will show us her character.

Planes, Trains, & One Automobile: My journey to SIWC

flying into Vancouver, BC

The journey to Surrey International Writer's Conference started at 03:30 a.m. (central time).  Two flights, two trains, and one bus ride later I walked through the doors of the Sheraton Vancouver Guildford Hotel at 1:27 p.m. (pacific time), which left me three minutes to do the conference check-in before my first Master Class.  
I drug my luggage up two flights of stairs, because I was in too much of a hurry to look for the elevator, and parked myself at the back of the room--secretly hoping no one noticed my grand entrance.  I've tried to transcribe my notes, but I hope you'll bear with me, knowing what all I went through just prior to the class :)

Disclaimer:  My apologies if these notes seem erratic.  Looking back over my own version of short hand, trying to link up marginal notes, and deciphering my chicken scratch might have weakened the effect.  Please understand that things occasionally get off topic when unrelated questions are asked throughout the workshop.  If you have any questions, I can try to expand.  (These aren’t necessarily her exact words. I’ve improvised.)

Pitchcraft--Katharine Sands 

Good news: Content is KING. If you have great content, you’ll do well.  There is room for all genres/content right now-never been a broader market.

Bad news: Very competitive market.

Common mistakes

1.  The agent is not “for hire.”  Don’t treat them like an employee.  Don’t waste their time with half-assed work.  GIVE THEM ONLY YOUR BEST!

2. Leave the backstory in the back.  They do not need to know, and don’t care to know, how long it took you to write this manuscript…how many drafts you’ve done…the obstacles you’ve faced along the way.  

3. Don’t try to present a theme.  They all boil down to “redemption” anyway.  They’ve likely heard your theme a hundred times this week. 

4. Too much humility or hubris.  Don’t be overly cocky or humble.  Be proud of your work but realize you are NOT Stephen King, Anne Rice, Ernest Hemingway, Diana Gabaldon, etc. 

5. Don’t initially mention a series/sequel.  You wouldn’t talk about marriage on a first date, would you?

Pop Quiz:  In one sentence, tell what your book is about.

I’ll give you a moment……

Now.  Consider this…why does the world need this book?  Why are you the best person to write it (especially in non-fiction)?  Is the idea Fresh, Unique, Different?

When you’re writing and rewriting your pitch or query, think about the protag/setting/problem (Maass) or, as Katharine calls it, Person/Place/Pivot.  

Imagine your pitch as a movie trailer.  Setting—do you have first-hand knowledge of the place/time?  Person—zoom in on the character, specifically give name and age.  Problem—what sets things in motion?

When looking for an agent…

*Now, you didn’t hear this from her, BUT homework isn’t everything.  New agents are popping up all the time.  Interns and assistants change agencies, maybe even start their own, and they’ve read the query letters. An agency might have hired an editor or new agent mere days before you send out queries.  They might be looking for something just like your WIP.  It can’t hurt to ask.  In reality, it’s just one NO to add to the list. (She gave an example:  rec’d a query about non-fiction book using poetry to study for SATs.  She had zero interest in poetry or SAT books, but the idea was so fresh and unique, she loved it)

*DO NOT use generalized greetings:  Dear Agent or send the same query with 50 agents in the address line.  Not Good. 

*Apply Everywhere.  You never know who might lay eyes on that query letter.  

Questions to ask an interested agent…

*Why do you want to be my agent?

*What is your strategy for selling it?

*What is your prognosis?  What are the odds of selling it?
*What is your experience with this kind of book?


I will try to post a few classes worth of notes per day, but right now I.Am.Beat.  More to follow in the next few weeks leading up to NaNoWriMo.  I expect you won't be hearing from me in November.

Surrey, BC here I come (well tomorrow, really)

I should be writing, rewriting, editing, and so many other productive things right now.  But I can't seem to get focused.  I'm just too excited about my big trip to the SIWC.   Four days.  No husband.  No children.  Surrounded by amazing authors with a wealth of knowledge to share.  In fact, I've woken up before 5 a.m. the last two days and couldn't get back to sleep because of it.  I'm worse than a kid at Christmas.

Did I mention the No Kids part?

Anyhow, my bag is [nearly] packed.  I've picked a scene for the Blue Pencil session with Jo Bourne.  There's not much to worry about.  So why am I so keyed up?

First off, I can't find my better pair of heels for Saturday night's banquet.  Target was fresh out of my size.  Plenty of size 6s and 9s though.  Assholes.  I don't know why I ever thought they were better than WalMart.  Just when you need something in a pinch, they drop the ball.

And oh yeah, I'm scheduled to pitch to Sorche Fairbank on Friday, and my manuscript is nowhere near ready.  When I signed up, I'd thought my second, maybe even third, draft would be done.  Nope.  Not even close.  I considered canceling because I don't want to waste her time.  BUT, I'd really like to practice pitching, and who knows...she might like the idea of it, right?  A girl can dream.

So I've made an appointment at Blue River Canyon Day Spa for a four hour spa package, that I hope will take away some of the nerves.  My wonderful, amazing, doesn't-get-the-whole-writing-thing husband gives me gift certificates every year to this place.  Unfortunately, my schedule doesn't allow for many trips (only two in the last three years).  So when I go, I get the good shit because it might be another two years before I get the chance again.

Here's to no more stress and getting the most out of this amazing conference.

p.s. I'll try to blog along the way, but I hear there won't be much extracurricular time...so, don't wait up

It's good to be the King, er, mom.

Parenting is the hardest job anyone can have.  Your job requirements include cooking, cleaning, educating, project manager, accountant, laundry specialist, nurse, pharmacist....the list goes on for miles.  Some days are pure hell, but others give you little gems like this scenario that played out today.


Ian and I lounged on the couch, watching Pink Panther.  He wiggled around, trying to get comfortable, and ended up lying on his stomach with his butt sticking up in the air.  This put my face in the line of fire when a nearly soundless fart escaped him.  Pfft.


"Ian, did you poot on me?"  I teased, and he giggled back at me.

"Yes."  More giggling.  "Mommy, my poot whispered."

I get regular emails from Age of Autism, and this post really got to me.  It's basically about how something as difficult as Autism becomes your "norm."  And then, out of nowhere, you get slapped in the face with the reminder that not everyone lives like you do.

My moment came at the end of Dagan's second grade year, when his class had a picnic.  When I got to his school, Dagan was talking to a group of boys from his class.  They weren't exactly ignoring him, but they didn't show him much attention either.  I put a blanket on the ground justs at the edge of the shadee talked while Dagan ate his lunch.

Afterwards, he wanted to play again.  By this time, all the kids were finished eating, and the playground was chaotic.  I watched him try again and again to get his classmates to play.  Some would for a minute and then they'd run off with someone else.  Most wouldn't even acknowledge him.  So he entertained himself with reenactments of various Star Wars and Spiderman scenarios, and seemed to be perfectly fine.

But I couldn't help wondering if he even noticed it, or if he's curious about why the kids don't want to play with him.  That's the part that makes me sad.  I don't want him to be hurt, but there's nothing I can do about the other kids.

This is our normal.  I'd do anything to make growing up easier on him.  Now I just have to figure out how to do that.