I get regular emails from Age of Autism, and this post really got to me.  It's basically about how something as difficult as Autism becomes your "norm."  And then, out of nowhere, you get slapped in the face with the reminder that not everyone lives like you do.

My moment came at the end of Dagan's second grade year, when his class had a picnic.  When I got to his school, Dagan was talking to a group of boys from his class.  They weren't exactly ignoring him, but they didn't show him much attention either.  I put a blanket on the ground justs at the edge of the shadee talked while Dagan ate his lunch.

Afterwards, he wanted to play again.  By this time, all the kids were finished eating, and the playground was chaotic.  I watched him try again and again to get his classmates to play.  Some would for a minute and then they'd run off with someone else.  Most wouldn't even acknowledge him.  So he entertained himself with reenactments of various Star Wars and Spiderman scenarios, and seemed to be perfectly fine.

But I couldn't help wondering if he even noticed it, or if he's curious about why the kids don't want to play with him.  That's the part that makes me sad.  I don't want him to be hurt, but there's nothing I can do about the other kids.

This is our normal.  I'd do anything to make growing up easier on him.  Now I just have to figure out how to do that.

Autism Awareness Month

April 2, 2010 launched World Autism Day, and the month of April is Autism Awareness month (at least in the states).

My eight year old son, Dagan, was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism/Asperger's Syndrome when he started kindergarten. We knew something was different about him, but we never considered Autism. He could talk, for Pete's sake! Really, really well in fact. By the time he turned two, he could recite and recognize the letters of the alphabet, as well as their phonetic sounds. He was conversing with adults, using the speech of a 4 or 5 year old. He could spell his name. And by age 4, he had already taught himself a few words to read. I never made any effort to get him reading. He followed along while I read our stories every night, and actually taught himself to read. If he couldn't pronounce it, he'd ask. Once. And that was it.

In my head, Autistic people had a language deficit. They didn't interact well with adults. So his diagnosis was a shock to say the least. I cried a lot, wondering what I might have done wrong somewhere along the way. And then I started reading, and reading, and reading some more. I researched for a good six months before we found a DAN! doctor. And we've been very pleased with the results. While Dagan hasn't had the drastic turnaround that some kids have had. There is a noticeable difference however.

He suffered for four years with horrible constipation before unconventional therapies turned his life around. It's been a hard road and a longer one ahead. Dagan still has some difficulties socially at school, and is at an age where other kids are starting to notice he's different. And every year, new fears arise...how will he live on his own, will he be able to hold a job, will he find someone to love that will accept him as he is? It's a long way off, and hopefully the research will continue to uncover more each year.

To all the people dealing with Autism and it's large spectrum of disorders...You're amazing!

Not many people can understand what it's like living with this. People assume that since it's not a medical problem (which it actually is) and they attend school, that it can't be all that bad. Well, you're wrong. It's hard, but at the same time I wouldn't change anything about his personality. Dagan is an affectionate, creative, intelligent, joyful boy, who loves to make others happy. I just want him to have some resemblance of a "normal" childhood, and grow up to function in society.

To all the folks not living with this disorder, educate yourself and others. You never know when you might be faced with it. Last time I checked 1:100 kids have Autism.

Check out these sites for more info:

Autism Society of America

Generation Rescue

Age of Autism

TACA

Today's Edition of "My Soapbox"

The title eludes that I've had other editions of "My Soapbox." I haven't, but given the plethora of things that get me going, I think I'll make this a regular blog entry. Kind of like Peter Griffin's news bit "What Really Grinds My Gears." So for today's edition, I have two subjects; annoying news and annoying neighbors. Let's get right to it.

Sarah Palin is a Ritard

I consider myself to be an open minded person who's sensitive to the feelings of others. That being said, I also have a sense of humor. It's a dark one perhaps, but it exists. For those who haven't heard, Sarah Palin is angry with Family Guy. I won't waste precious blog space

with the story, but you can read this article from the New York Times which does a great job of summing it up. The short version is an episode had a minor character who has Down's Syndrome, and her mother was the former Governor of Alaska. I think Sarah Palin needs to take a Xanax and call it a night.

This is funny. If you don't think it's funny, you probably shouldn't be watching Family Guy. Did I take offense to this scene in "The Hangover" where they call Rainman a 'ritard/retard' just because my son has Autism? No, I didn't. I thought it was hilarious; one of the funniest parts in the movie. And, stirring up all this shit is just giving them more attention, and probably increasing their ratings. As someone who is a public figure, you know you're going to be made fun of. This is most likely the tamest thing Seth MacFarlane & Co. have come up with. So brace yourself, it will get worse; and I look forward to it. My verdict: hilarious, even more so since the actress doing the voice of the character has Down's and intentionally makes fun of Palin. Lovely :)

Age of Autism

No segue, just gonna jump right on the next item of news. I am a fan of The Onion. They make fun of things that are completely made up, and I like it. Now many in the Autism community are furious over this article where two parents blame their Autistic son for being unable to save their marriage. I don't hear the pit bull folks screaming discrimination from the mountain tops (they get a little jab here too). In my oh-so-humble opinion, this article is taking shots at people who have kids for the wrong reasons, not the fictional Autistic child. The only thing that bothered me in the slightest was naming the child Evan (presumably after Jenny McCarthy's son who has Autism). My verdict: not hilarious, but funny.

Yoda Cuts Grass

Some of you may have heard my tales of the grass cutting senior citizen who lives next door to me (AKA Yoda, AKA Father Time, AKA Mr. Gill). If not, he is at least 80 years old and he religiously mows his yard every Saturday, twelve months a year. The only exceptions are heavy rain/snow, below freezing temps, and possible medical emergencies. The last one is in question though. The man loves his yard.

This morning I took Bronwen and Ian outside to play while John ate his breakfast. This is the first day it's been warm enough. And I shit you not, three minutes into our outing, and Yoda is out in full force riding his new mower, cutting the grass.

I understand that old habits die hard. But COME ON! The grass is dead, brown, crunches under your feet. It hasn't grown a millimeter in at least four months! He doesn't just cut the grass either. He covers every square inch at least four times. I'm not exaggerating. He really does. One day he spent twenty minutes mowing the patch of grass right outside my bedroom window. Not even my earplugs can drown out the sound of a mower.

My verdict: NOT funny. Highly frustrating. He's either so senile he can't remember it doesn't need cutting OR his wife is so damn annoying he has to mow to get away from her.

Thanks for reading/listening. I feel better now.